Before I Say I Do Page 28

‘Where did you find it?’ Her mind was racing with possibilities.

  ‘In the back garden, near the fence.’ He motioned behind him.

  She was on her feet before he had a chance to stop her and heading towards the back garden.

  ‘You aren’t allowed back there.’ He jogged after her.

  ‘Where was it?’ Loxton was scanning the area. It was a neat little back garden with a small lawn and a flowerbed at the very back, next to the fence.

  ‘Where that loose fence panel is.’ The forensic officer pointed it out. ‘But I heard that you were suspended? We’ve been told you’re not to be allowed to go into the scene.’

  Loxton ignored him, crouching low, looking at the bedding plants. They were crushed, as if someone had dragged a bag of soil over them. She saw one set of footprints. ‘There’s a back gate here.’

  ‘It leads onto an alley which runs between the houses. It’s an old estate. Everyone would have been in and out of each other’s houses back in the day, not anymore though.’

  She was on her phone, pressing Kowalski’s name.

  ‘I’m not there yet.’ Kowalski’s voice was muffled; she could tell he was trying to drive and speak on the phone.

  ‘I don’t think they’re dead,’ she said.

  ‘What?’ Kowalski’s voice was loud.

  ‘Talbot and Webb. I don’t think they’re dead. Webb’s car’s not here.’

  ‘You know I’m starving, right? The Chinese is just around the next corner.’

  ‘I’ll get Patel to run Webb’s registration through the live ANPR, but I think I know where they’re going.’

  ‘I’m turning back.’ His voice sounded heavy with disappointment. He thought she was chasing ghosts.

  She hung up and took the ring in the plastic bag from the perplexed forensic officer.

  ‘I’m not going to find any more remains in there, am I?’ He glanced back at the gutted house.

  ‘No, I don’t think you will.’ Maybe she’d got a second chance after all.

  Chapter 49

  Julia Talbot

  Friday

  The wind whipped my hair around my face and into my eyes. Mark had been with me, but he wasn’t here now. I tried calling his name, but no sound came out. I opened my eyes, but whichever way I tried to look, there was only darkness.

  I could hear the whoosh of the sea, lapping against the hull. The ocean. But instead of salt in the air there was a strange smell, as if something was rotten.

  ‘Time to wake up.’

  Who was that? I thought I’d been on the sea but there were no waves – only a sharp pain behind my eyes. Everything was black.

  ‘Wakey, wakey, sleeping beauty.’ Lucy. Her voice muffled. ‘We’re nearly there.’

  I was rocked from side to side as if by waves. Maybe I was inside a boat? Sick rose in my throat as I remembered. Lucy. The fire. I couldn’t breathe. There was no air in here and what little there was choked me with the stench of sickly-sweet blood and something rancid.

  Hot tears fell from my eyes. Lucy had tried to kill me. She had murdered Rachel. For a moment my head span with images of the raging fire, Hart’s screams and Mark’s feeble knocking at the basement door. I had to get out of here or I would be next.

  I checked the cut on my forearm with my fingertips. Cloth was tied round it, and it seemed to have stemmed the bleeding, as the outer layer of cloth was dry. Lucy must have applied it.

  My seared hands felt cold metal above me and to my sides. The space was small and I couldn’t stretch out my legs. I felt the hum of an engine and the roar of traffic as something went past us, fast. I must be in the boot of Lucy’s car.

  I breathed hard through my nostrils, counting to five in my head, and then kicked the boot lid. It didn’t budge, but the movement sent a burning sensation through my chest.

  ‘Stop fucking about.’ Lucy’s voice was cold and strange.

  I kicked out again, my legs jarring with pain. Futile. I was going to die in here.

  A thumping beat vibrated through the car, deafening me. Lucy had turned the radio on to block me out. I tried to hold back sobs. I crashed sideways into the wall of the boot as the car swerved. I couldn’t tell if I was upside down. I wriggled around until my back was on the floor.

  We hit a bump and I was thrown up, crashing back down. I covered my stomach with my hands but they gave little protection. Nausea welled inside me. The car swerved and stopped with a jerk, throwing me forwards.

  Silence.

  I heard the car door open and then slam shut. ‘We’re here.’ Light from her torch streamed over me as the boot was opened. ‘Are you going to behave, or am I going to have to hurt you?’ She held up her steering lock, ready to strike me. Above her was a black sky with white pin pricks twinkling down.

  Ancient oak trees surrounded me. I was back in that green prison.

  ‘Get out.’ She stepped back, too far for me to try to grab the steering lock. Her face was dirty with the grime of smoke and dried blood. I dragged myself out of the boot. Every muscle burned from lack of oxygen. We were in a small deserted car park, the floor made of soft woodchip. It was so dark I could only see the small area around us, lit by her torch. But I didn’t need to see any more to know where I was.

  Ashurst Wood.

  The playground of my childhood until that day, and the last place in the world I wanted to be now. I hadn’t been here in twenty years. I realized it was almost to the day that I’d last been here. Had she planned it this way?

  I dry-retched, the stench from the boot too much to bear.

  ‘Don’t worry about it.’ She waved her hand dismissively towards the boot. ‘A tramp was in there.’

  ‘A tramp?’

  Her brows knitted together and I knew not to ask any more. ‘Do you remember the way?’ She tilted her head at me.

  I felt the soft woodchip underfoot as I unwillingly headed up the single track in response to her question. It was as if I’d been here only yesterday.

  ‘I knew you wouldn’t have forgotten.’ She was right behind me, keeping pace. I could try to outrun her, but she seemed strong despite the cut to her head. I could barely see, her light only illuminating half a metre in front of us. If I bolted and she caught me . . .

  ‘We should go to a hospital,’ I said. ‘You’re bleeding.’ The trail went uphill, and my breathing became more ragged. The trees’ foliage blocked out the cloudless night sky.

  ‘It doesn’t matter.’

  She was going to kill me where she’d killed my sister. And she’d murdered Mark, cooked him alive in her basement. The Lucy I knew was gone – had never even existed. I didn’t know who this person was.

  We followed the trail, and the trees became denser, the undergrowth thicker. It was unlikely anyone would be here at this time, but if someone came down the path towards us, I had a chance.

  ‘This way.’ Lucy stood off the path. ‘We go off-road now.’

  ‘I’m sure it’s just a bit farther along the trail.’ I motioned towards an oak tree.

  ‘When was the last time you came here?’ Lucy shook her head at me. ‘It’s this way.’

  I didn’t want to push her, so I reluctantly left the safety of the path behind.

  She waved me onwards, forcing me to stay at the front. ‘Stop dawdling.’ Her voice was strange. There was an edge to it I hadn’t heard until today.

  We left the path and civilization behind and the wood completely swallowed us. My legs were heavy. I stumbled over tree roots and staggered around bracken. Every single step I took brought me closer to where Rachel had died. Brought me closer to my own death. At least I would be with her at last.

  Chapter 50

  Alana Loxton

  Friday

  ‘Webb’s car was picked up near Caterham. She’s heading to Ashurst Wood. From the ANPR footage it looks like she’s the only one in the car.’

  ‘Shit. It’ll take us twenty minutes to get there and she’s got a couple of hours’ head start on us.’ Kowals
ki put his foot down, cursing the other drivers’ slow responses. The blue light attached to the top of the car roof made little impact on their progress and the siren wailed mournfully. They were going to be too late.

  ‘Kurwa.’ Kowalski hit the steering wheel with his fist.

  ‘I’ve got Kent uniform headed there.’

  Kowalski pressed the horn, changing the tone of the siren to a staccato scream, and half-mounted the pavement in his effort to push through the traffic.

  ‘Aren’t you meant to go on the outside of the traffic?’ Loxton grabbed the internal passenger door handle and closed her eyes. As a response driver herself, she knew damn well you were never meant to go on the inside.

  ‘It’s fine.’ Kowalski went through a red light, missing the traffic control pole by millimetres. He urged the car onwards and she opened her eyes as he turned right onto a side street.

  ‘Side roads will be quicker until we can hit the A22. It’ll be clearer on there.’ He surged forward, faster than she would have dared, oblivious as he hit the speed bumps at forty miles an hour. Loxton’s back ached as she was lifted and then slammed into the seat. She checked the map on her phone, barking instructions at him. It was still going to take them fifteen minutes.

  She dialled Kanwar’s number. ‘Kanwar, it’s Loxton. On my desk is the murder case file for Jonathan Cane. Can you find out exactly where in Ashurst Wood Rachel Hughes was murdered and send me the coordinates?’

  ‘You’re suspended for leaking news to the press, Alana.’ His voice was hard down the phone. ‘What sort of fool do you think I am?’

  ‘I’m with Kowalski.’ She shook her head in frustration, even though he couldn’t see her. ‘We haven’t got time for this.’

  ‘You’re not a police officer anymore.’ Kanwar wasn’t listening to her. ‘I’m not telling you about any cases.’

  ‘Kowalski, tell Kanwar to do his fucking job.’ Loxton put the call on loudspeaker.

  ‘Just get us the damn directions and stop fucking about,’ Kowalski shouted towards the mobile.

  ‘Fine, I’ll send them through, but I’m reporting this.’ With that, Kanwar hung up.

  ‘Why is she going back there?’ Kowalski asked.

  ‘I don’t know, but it’s not going to be good.’ Loxton prayed a car didn’t come from the other direction. Kowalski would never be able to brake in time.

  ‘Gówno.’ Kowalski’s brow furrowed deeper as the car sped up.

  Chapter 51

  Julia Talbot

  Friday

  Lucy pushed me onwards, deeper into the darkness. Her torch lit up the trees, which grew taller as we went further into the heart of the wood. This place was where my nightmares always brought me, and now it was where I was going to die.

  ‘Everyone will think we burnt in the fire,’ I said.

  ‘When they don’t find our bodies,’ she said, ‘they’ll come looking.’ She was moving quickly and we weren’t far from the brook now. The tree branches were bathed in moonlight but for a moment I saw sunlight filtering through the leaves. I could almost see us as children again, running between the trees, laughing.

  ‘We could go to an airport right now.’ I stopped and turned to face her, trying to hide the desperation from my voice. ‘You and me. Hop on a plane and leave it all behind. Start again.’

  She stopped too. ‘Where would we go?’

  ‘We used to talk about Australia. Do you remember?’ Maybe she would get tired. She had to sleep eventually. Then I could make a run for it or grab something heavy.

  ‘We wanted to get away from your parents and the idiots around here,’ she said. ‘Remember the way they used to look at us afterwards . . .’

  ‘We wanted to be like the characters in Neighbours,’ I said. It was so long ago; a different life.

  ‘That was it.’ She was excited, her voice bright. ‘Endless sun and barbecues at Christmas. We were going to escape to the other side of the world.’

  I nodded. My throat hurt and it was painful to talk. The hike was taking it out of me.

  It had been a lie. All those rainy afternoons fantasizing about endless summers and white beaches weren’t real. She’d been pretending the whole time. She was the one who had killed Rachel.

  ‘Get a move on,’ Lucy suddenly said as she brandished the steering lock at me, as if shaking herself free of the spell I was weaving. We carried on into the woods.

  ‘Why didn’t you just kill Mark? Why wait all this time?’ She was never going to let me walk away, but at least I could try to get the truth before I died.

  ‘I just wanted him out of the way, but things spiralled. I wanted Mark’s death to look like a suicide. I needed him to write a suicide note first, but it took more time persuading him to do that than I thought it would.’

  I shuddered as I thought of Mark, tortured and killed because he’d fallen in love with me. I’d never hear him laughing or feel his arms encircling me again. He was really gone.

  Suddenly I heard the gentle sound of rushing water. For most people it was a relaxing, hypnotic sound, but it had always brought me out in a cold sweat since Rachel.

  We’d reached the brook.

  There was the old willow, unchanged despite twenty years having gone by. This was the clearing where Rachel had drawn her last breath.

  Looking at it now, it was as if it had never happened. Everything was peaceful, an ethereal forest bathed in moonlight. There was no trace of the violence that I’d seen when I’d last stood here, only the sharp ache that I could never put into words, gnawing inside me. I thought I could almost hear Rachel’s giggle as she hid nearby, watching us from behind some bracken.

  ‘Rachel, I’m sorry.’ I let the tears fall. I didn’t have to keep it together any longer; soon it would all be over. At last I could let myself fall apart.

  ‘You’re sorry?’ Lucy looked incredulous. ‘You wanted her dead.’ She gripped the steering lock tighter.

  ‘I never wanted her dead. That was all you.’ The anger and grief, always underneath the surface, rose up. For years I’d been biting my lip when I saw sisters together or women my age with their mother or father. I’d felt ashamed at myself for the jealousy I felt towards them – the hate. But all along that rage had a real home – Lucy.

  ‘Do you know how desperate you sound?’ Lucy said. ‘I killed her for you and you’re pretending you didn’t know!’

  ‘You didn’t do that for me.’ My voice was a croak. We were right by the spot where I’d found her. Rachel’s frozen face came back to me, her lifeless eyes. Had she thought of me at the end? Had she been hoping I’d save her? ‘You’re insane.’

  ‘You were bored of me.’ Her eyes looked sad.

  ‘What are you talking about?’

  ‘You and Rachel were sisters. I was just your friend, and you were moving on from me. You told Jonny.’

  ‘I didn’t.’ But then I remembered, in the wood that day, I had told Jonny I was fed up of everyone. Rachel, my mum, even Kayleigh.

  ‘I heard you talking to Jonny that day like I was nothing to you. Like you didn’t need me.’

  ‘You followed us?’

  ‘Of course I followed you. I thought you would pick me over him, and when you didn’t, I just couldn’t believe it. It wasn’t hard to follow you into the woods. The three of you were so noisy.’

  ‘But why kill Rachel?’ Disgust burnt through my veins.

  ‘I didn’t plan it. I went to watch her and there she was, moaning and crying as usual. I don’t know what happened.’

  ‘What did you do?’ Panic rose in me. I didn’t want to hear this.

  ‘I crept up behind her. I had a rock in my hand.’ She stared at her right hand, still holding the steering lock. ‘And I struck her with it. Her head was so fragile. It cracked open like an Easter egg, all this pink goo seeping out. She fell forward and was twitching on the grass, her head turned to the side, her eyelids flickering and her mouth moving as she tried to say something. She wasn’t dead.’ She looked aw
ay from me, as if seeing it all again. ‘I hit her again and again until my arm burnt. I remember hearing this howling noise, like an animal. And then I realized it was me.’

  I was cold and the edges of my vision became darker. ‘You never said a thing. Not once in all those years.’

  ‘I thought we were both pretending it was Jonny. You were the one who put your ring on Rachel. That was the final nail in the coffin for him.’

  Blood was pounding through my head. Jonny had been innocent, and I’d condemned him to prison and a shattered life. And then I’d killed him.

  ‘I couldn’t go to prison,’ she said. ‘I’d suffered enough as it was, what with my father. It was an accident really.’

  I ran, throwing myself at her. I was going to kill her. Lucy’s eyes widened, and she tried to lift the steering lock, but I was already lashing out at her face with my fists. She fell backwards as she tried to get away from the blows, the steering lock falling to her side, and we both landed hard on the ground, me on top of her.

  I punched her hard with my fist and tried to reach the steering lock with my other hand, but Lucy pushed me off, rolling me backwards. She kicked out at me, connecting with my stomach. I feared for my baby, as the pain seared through my midriff.

  Lucy turned onto her front, scrabbling for the steering lock. I got to my feet, but she’d already grabbed it and was now standing up.

  My breath was ragged and I didn’t have much left. I lifted my fists up and bent my knees, like I’d been taught at the gym. One blow from the steering lock and it would be over. I could try running but I knew I wouldn’t make it far.

  She was on her feet again, facing me with the metal lock high above her head. She ran at me and I threw my hands up, trying to catch it, but it was too heavy, smashing into my wrist and sending a sharp white pain through it.

  I staggered backwards. My wrist was at a funny angle and white lights jumped in front of me. I looked up at Lucy and she scowled at me as she pulled back the steering lock. I put my left hand up to ward off the blow as I pulled my useless right arm into myself. It wouldn’t be long now. All I could think of was my poor baby.